I’ve Been Out for a Year
There was this constant nausea when it came to facing everyone after the last time I posted this link. It lasted months; I was in constant fear of something awful happening. Because those are the stories you hear - the ones of torment and communal shame, not the ones of open arms and praise.
To this day, I still cannot believe all of the good that has presented itself over this past year because of the decision I made to come out. I was almost overwhelmed with how much the people in my life supported me and respected what I had done. However, I shouldn’t be surprised by this at all – it took time and unrelenting energy to find amazing people to surround myself with, and the support that those people gave, and continue to give to me, is just exemplary of how awe-inspiring each and every one of them truly is.
Of course, this year was faced with multiple hardships and loss, but I have done my best to put those past me and focus on all that I have gained, and all that I can be proud of. Through my openness and the consequential confidence that comes along with it, I have gained friendships that are insurmountable to anything else I can imagine. For the first time in my life, I didn’t feel like I had to build up some kind of personality in order to distract from other parts of who I am. The result, I enjoyed myself a hell of a lot more and so did the people around me.
It is important to point out that, while the people who have made this journey easier are extremely important to me, the strength and confidence I gained are the most valuable things I will take away from this experience. I have never been more comfortable with who I am and I am confident in the fact that that comfort can only expand as I grow older. Before this year, I was never entirely sure of that statement, and I only have my own chutzpah to thank for that change of heart.
Ultimately, and honestly, I don’t think a time will come in my life span where the LGBT community isn’t faced with torment and communal shame on either a personal or organized level. However, I do believe that the stories of LGBT youth will start to turn away from this focus, because a revolutionary shift is occurring. Stories like mine are becoming more and more prevalent each and ever day. So many people have become willing to give open arms and mass amounts of praise to those going through what I went through; they have become willing to turn those awful, gut-wrenching stories into stories of hope and genuine care. And I am so grateful to have been a recipient of that.
Always,
Sami
Anonymous asked:
You're welcome from the depths of my heart. Anonymity is a funny thing, it lets you say things you've wanted to for a long time but have never had the guts or the opportunity to.
My apologies as well because it appears as though the last line of the poem was cut off. It's supposed to read "The feelings that neither knew were there."
I’d like to say I enjoy anonymity, but it honestly kills me. You never really know.
Ah, yes. That feels more complete - in the incomplete sort of way.
-edit- I mean in the sense that it’s anonymous. It’s a truly satisfying piece of writing.
Anonymous asked:
In the long shadows of a cold morn,
He thought of her and his mind was torn.
Her face, ever so tried and true,
The fairest he'd seen, he did construe.
And at the bitter reaches end,
His hand towards hers it did extend,
And though he did not know her well,
He found himself betwixt her spell.
For the day he pined,
When he would see her face amidst a line,
And in the strangers there,
Perhaps a blossoming beyond compare,
When both would meet and both would share,
The feel
My need for something like this tonight was akin to my need for air every second of every day.
Thank you, for giving me exactly what I needed.
I drink exactly as much as I want, and one drink more.
You Don’t Inspire Me.
Inspiration is lucrative. It consumes my life in ways that are dangerous, careless and beautiful. I can spend several days, alone, with my inspiration; and yet, I can only spend minutes with the people who cause it.
You, do not inspire me. You don’t cause me to shed tears of reckless prose. I don’t lock myself away with thoughts of you and all you cause me to feel. I am not pained by the constant need to write and draw and be after seeing you. There is nothing about you that causes these intuitions and necessary actions.
You do not inspire me. You are pure and unyielding and casual. The intensity of everything you feel and think is shielded by sobriety and released with every shot, puff and line. You make me feel things when I need to feel things and that’s it; there’s no other way to explain that.
You do not inspire me; and I could never love you more for it.
When I was young, I thought people my age walked on water.
I was mistaken; it’s not water at all… It’s a desert, and we’re all on acid.
Mental health issues be damned; I will get back on top.
Let it be and let it go.
I am awesome.
Be the worst you can be.
Anonymous asked:
Since the moment I first met you, I knew both that I wanted you more than life itself and that I would never have you.
Anonymity is a bitch.
This is so very kind, and yet so very tragic. In what world can you see me as so elusive that I could never be “had?”
Oh, the questions I have for you, Anonymous. Oh, the questions.
Fear less; mistake more.
I will never question the love I have for my best friends.
I will always question the love they have for me.
Good(?)night.
